Alright, you terrible little beastie, let me ask you what right you have to be so grotesquely adorable? Seriously, little owl, your cuteness feels more like a threat than a gift because I fear that you could easily manipulate me. I’d sell my home to ensure that your habitat was clean and your fluffy ass had plenty of mice or bugs or whatever you need to eat and you know it. You KNOW it, Owl. I’m only human, dammit. Release me.